Am I the only one?
Am I the only one of my generation who thinks that “Spirit filled worship” does not mean dancing? Who doesn’t think being free means dancing? Who doesn’t think that liturgy is dead worship? That hymns are not annointed? That all the churches of our childhoods aren’t dead and lifeless? Who isn’t always searching for something new? Who isn’t always searching for something different? Who is never content with what the Lord has done? Who doesn’t differentiate between salvation and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit? Who doesn’t seek after mountain top experiences? Who doesn’t forsake reading the Word for worship experiences?
It’s so discouraging at times. I realize that so many of my generation are young, impressionable, and reacting to what they perceive is deadness and coldness simply because they haven’t been properly instructed in meaning and tradition. They search out for that which is new and exciting and different simply for the same reasons that so many young people rebel from their parents. It’s why so many young people who grew up in more charismatic churches are rapidly leaving those churches for churches that are more steeped in liturgy and tradition. They are looking for meaning amongst the meaningless.
Most of my generation believes that Spirit filled worship means dancing and loud music with free flowing structure and lyrics. The most Spirit filled worship I’ve ever experienced in a church was a group of men and women singing Wonderful Grace of Jesus, a heavily structured, harmonized, Scripture full hymn.
Most of my generation firmly believe they got saved at a young age, but everything was dead and cold to them until they had a moment where the Spirit indwelt them. I firmly believe I got saved at a young age and grew in wisdom and maturity and into a deeper relationship with God and his Holy Spirit.
Most of my generation believes that liturgy, structured services, written prayers, and the like, are cold and deadless, not allowing the Holy Spirit to speak. Yet I see tradition, history, men and women of old writing down holy words that were blessed by the Holy Spirit and allowed to survive through the centuries, containing deep meaning and comfort for those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
I’m not angry with my generation. It’s not entirely our fault we don’t know any better. But I am highly discouraged. More and more I fear I must live a lie and keep my mouth shut, silently correcting and instructing and teaching where I can. But who am I, Lord? I know it was spoken over me years ago that I would be a teacher of God’s word, yet I don’t even know where to begin, whether I am qualified, whether I even have the right. I know I don’t have the words. Yet I have such a slippery grasp on truth as it already is, knowing what’s right or what’s wrong, being firmly set in some things.
So I’ll pray for wisdom and guidance.