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Music Monday – SFL Edition

09/05/2011

One of the commentors on Stuff Fundies Like left this comment recently. Since today is Music Monday and a holiday, I thought it would be interesting to share, since it’s music related and pretty well written satire. Satire that is a little too close to truth, sadly.

The Truth of the gospel… mixed with the evil Africanized music. You know that the Devil is stronger than you are. So if you use anything other than hymns to sing the gospel you are giving Satan a stronghold. Give Satan an inch and he will become a ruler, hey-men?! Mixing Gospel with the devils music cheapens the gospel and makes it ineffective. That is why we have to keep to the pure ways of the Old Paths, hey-men?! Keep our selves prayed up and pure, HEY-men! Keep our men’s hair short and our accounts with God even shorter, now that’ll preach, bless God!

I see a lot of women talking on here, and they are bringing up these worldly subjects of so called Contemporary Christian Music. Don’t sound like no Fanny Crosby to me, amen?! Why bring that corrupted jungle music into the Lord’s house? I have a little 5 year old son, and I could bring him in here and let him listen to that music and even he knows that music that sounds like that is wrong, AMEN, now I’m preaching!

Don’t you look at me in that tone of voice! You know I’m right. Bless gawd, I’ll never let the Devil’s music corrupt the House of Gawd as long as I’m pastor here!

The only music we will use is wholesome, God honoring, Biblical, Soul winning, Old Time Christian music that you can understand, AMEN? God’s not the author of noise and confusion, amen?! That’s right. I want to hear those old God honoring songs like, “In the Garden”, and “I’m on the Winning Side” and “He Touched Me!” AMEN! Glory! I’m about to get started preaching, that was just my Introduction. Somebody hold my mule!

Open your precious, inspired, infalliable, perfect, preserved, 1611, King James, Scofield Bibles and turn with me to Isaiah 19:14. I’ll be preaching from this one verse: The LORD hath mingled a perverse spirit in the midst thereof: and they have caused Egypt to err in every work thereof, as a drunken man staggereth in his vomit.
My sermon tonight is on “Mingling in vomit with the perverse world!”

Not all legalisms look alike. Not all cults don’t preach Jesus Christ and the gospel. Is it fun to read things like this and rail against fundies? Sure, but mostly it’s just sad. I’d rather not have been exposed to any of this and not once had it presented to me as any form of truth. To be confronted with something like this and immediately know it’s stupid and not of God would be a blessing; instead there is a mess of emotions that come up when reading things like this. If anything, the Internet will destroy fundies like this as people gain more knowledge and a broader understanding of the church of God. So to that end, I think Stuff Fundies Like and other websites provide a much needed service and ministry to the body of Christ. We need to defeat such error.

Why give up our freedoms for stupidity?

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